There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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