Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
