Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
