Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
