There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
