you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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