just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
