I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we should paint friendship bongs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
