Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
