I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
