Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
