Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize