Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
