blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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