mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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