HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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