i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Too much gin, very little bucket
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
