I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
