their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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