He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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