Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
