Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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