Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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