there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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