that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
