Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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