I accidentally burped into my bong.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
