If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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