Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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