someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
