he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
