Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
