eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
