who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
only if we run a train.
done.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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