I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize