My hand turned me down
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is my life. Enjoy the view
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
