I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
