Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
wow bdsm is so cute
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
