It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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