i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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