we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
