Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
