so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize