That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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