I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
