How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I did not marry a roomba.
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