I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize