Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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