No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
