Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Having a random hookup so left but love u
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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