Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
