GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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