just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The air taste purple.
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