It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
