I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Your penis caused this!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
