If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
