Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
