What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
