Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
