My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i've created a new STD.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sext me about skeletons
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize