HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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